Self Help - Personality Addictions

We all have personality addictions! These are not addictions to addictive (or otherwise) substances - drugs, acohol, nicotine etc.

For those you can get help.

I am discussing behavioral addictions. The process of addiction is the same - an emotional rush from hormones and peptides to the cells of our body. It matters little to our body whether the source of the rush is external substances or internally produced hormonal stimulants.

Addiction is characterized by the repeated use of substances or behavior patterns to achieve a high. So whether the high is produced by subtances or behavior, the addiction is to the feeling.

Self help note :

The true cause of all addictions is anxiety - an uneasy feeling that is temporarily masked or tranquilised by some substance or behavior!

Gary Craig - Founder of EFT.

Try these for size :

• Talking (for the sake of it)
• Always being right (at all costs)
• Criticising (we always know better)
• Drama (lets have a little excitement)
• Conflict (lets show who's boss)
• Confrontation.
• Arguing
• Uproar
• Shopping
• Gambling
• Food
• Work
• Sex
• Any compulsive behavior

Why do we find ourselves in these situations again and again - because we are addicted to them.

Why do we think that life would be dull without a good argument or confilict or whatever? Does it makes life more exciting?

Could we live life with out a little drama?

If we didn't talk compulsively would we fade away, not be noticed?

If we were not right all the time, might we be judged to be inferior or un-interesting?

Isn't this our personality?

Might we lose our personality if we were less exciting?

But - but - but .....

Thus we precipitate situations which are tailor made to pander to our addictions - we play games!

Remember the lower three levels consciousness :-

• Security
• Sensation
• Power

Well guess where these addictions place us?

Again and again we manifest situations which cater to our addictions.

Step back and take a look at the situations which keep re-occuring in your life. Those problems which seem to characterise your life. That circle of events you seem to keep repeating.

Could it be that there is a lesson there. I'm sure there was nothing in your meaning of life contract that said you had to go round in circles!

Talk about being able to manifest stuff out of thin air!

Self Help Note :(I don't want to cover manifesting until we reach an advanced stage. After all we don't want any more of this do we?)

It is normal to create a comfort zone in whiich we feel secure and free to persue our behavioral addictions.

Self help aside : But why be normal when you can be yourself.

We select our friends and condition our family to support our addictions and play our games. Of course this is a reciprocal arrangement, in turn we are expected to support their addictions and play their games.

In fact when we try to step outside our comfort zone, to change and grow, we are likely to be met with hostility - for wanting to be different, not one of the gang, -it's not like that in 'our' family etc...

It is your choice. At any time you can choose not to play those games. You will probrably be regarded as a so and so individual - however it's your life, are you going to live it your way, or let others live it for you!? That decision is one of self helps little dilemmas.

When dealing with people outside our family and circle of friends, outside our comfort zone, we can be polite, understanding and helpful. Strangers do not place the same expectations on us as the family and friends - we do not have to play our little power games.

For those of you who live in a "personality culture", note that your personality is you shining through. It is not some game or identity that you project as the occasion demands!

Self Help Note : Look, I'm not lecturing you on your behavior here. If the cap fits wear it. The point is, be aware of these patterns which form in our lives and grow from it.

Before moving on, a word on your subconscious mind which has a major influence on your personality and behavior.

Self Help Note : This is the only time I will touch on negative thinking outside discussing therapies under the Health For Life chapter. Being aware of the influence of your subconscious mind is necessary as you move into the realm of manifesting change in your life.

You can change your mind, you can change what you are thinking about - but you cannot by your conscious volition, change your subconscious mind.

You may decide that you want something to happen, but if your subconscious does not, you have a conflict of interest. Like it or not, your subconscious is going to win, it will not let you succeed!

Somewhere in your forgotten past, buried below your conscious level of thoughts are hidden traumas, stuff you don't know about.

They have come from the time of your birth, or even before, and in particular, over the first seven years of your life, you have built behavior patterns which you take for granted. You could say that you have been programmed.

Now you subconscious does not have a sense of reasoning or logic, it simply reacts and wires up according to a given situation. Thus your subconscious programming does not have make sense.

Now to change or rewire these hidden behaviors, we are going to have find a way to build pathways around the conscious/subconscious boundary.

This is the realm of meditative techniques, affirmations and growth techniques discussed later in this course. This is where, with practice, you attain mastery and free your self from your programming.

The point is - that you can consciously make a difference to the way you are "wired", this is who you are being in control of what you are.